May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Joshua...

Thanks to my friend Becca, I've been made aware of this Blog ... I'll begin by saying please pray for this family!

The strength and courage of this young couple simply overwhelms me. I have no words of comfort for them. Perhaps there really are none. My story is always one of survival and overcoming obstacles... None of my "stuff" applies to Joshua. He's two months old and he's dying. These past two months have been an unexpected miracle. These last few hours have been an unexpected miracle! His family has known from the get go that he would only be with them briefly. Yet, they chose to give him a dignified beginning and end. They have trusted that God has His hand in this matter. Joshua is not broken, or damaged. He's exactly as God intended.

Joshua's life has been so short, but I have to say that he is impacting my heart. Read through this beautifully documented journey. I know Joshua will impact you all as well.

Praying hard

Mandy

Back in the Saddle...

Well, my chair is up and running after 10 days of craziness. WooHoo! Now if I can just get my knee healed I'll be all set...

This Week...

Ever notice how things always come at you when you're most vulnerable? I knew this week was going to be difficult because of Laurie. I also felt for Steph because March 2 is her father's birthday. Talk about a double dose of OUCH!
What I didn't expect was the series of unfortunate events that lead me up to this emotional weekend...
Last Sunday my wheelchair died. In my effort to get help, I fell out of my chair and injured my knees. I've spent the whole week stuck in bed with ice packs and ace bandages on my legs. I need to setup an appointment for X-rays. My wheelchair repair group doesn't take my insurance, so I had to borrow $3,000.00 from my dad. Anyone who knows me at all, knows how much I hate needing his help...
Very few things can actually wound my spirit anymore. However, the devil seems to know exactly which buttons to push. Being weakened and "extra crippled" has really damaged my spirit. I feel like things are stacking up against me. It also reminds me of how much a person can actually indure.
For now I'm in retreat mode. Like resting and rebooting may be my best option. I'll talk to you all later...

The Song that is Holding Me Together...

BROKEN

Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky

Then it starts to rain....

My defenses hit the ground, and they shatter all around

So open and exposed...

I found strength in the struggle

Face to face with my trouble

When you're broken in a million little pieces

And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore

Every tear falls down for a reason

Don't you stop believing in yourself

When you're broken

Little girl don't be so blue I know what you're going through

Don't let it beat you up...

Hitting walls and getting scars only makes you who you are

Only makes you who you are...

No matter how much your heart is aching

There is beauty in the breaking

When you're broken in a million little pieces

And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore

Every tear falls down for a reason

Don't you stop believing in yourself

When you're broken

Better days are gonna find you once again

Every piece will find its place

When you're broken, when you're broken

When you're broken in a million little pieces

And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore

Every tear falls down for a reason

Don't you stop believing in yourself

When you're broken

Oh, when you're broken

Small Miracles...

Today my nephew Ben stood up all by himself! Not such a big deal for most babies. However, Ben is no typical kid. Not so long ago, Ben's parents were told that he may never walk. He's been through more than his share of hard stuff already and he seems to defy all the odds. He's perfect! Not because he seems to get more "normal" every day. Normal is for cowards! Ben is perfect because he is exactly as he's meant to be.
If Ben never takes one step I won't be dissapointed. Lots of us get by fine without walking... It just looks more and more like Ben's potential is limitless. I want him to have every good experience, and a whole lot less of the crappy ones. He really deserves it!

Fresh Starts....

It seems like all around me there are new beginnings brewing. People I love are getting married!Others I know are getting divorced... Where will the next year take us? So many things change in a blink. I find myself getting excited! I'm looking forward to change, and new beginnings. I feel like letting go of past baggage. I know spring is supposed to be the season for these feelings, but for me fall has always brought out my hopeful side.

Going Home...

There was a great homecoming this weekend in heaven. As hard as it is to except loss, I'm comforted in knowing that my mom was there to greet my "Uncle Dad".

My thoughts and prayers go out to Aunt Karen, Joe, and Steph. Our earthly family just won't be the same without Uncle John.

DIVA STARBUCKS...

Today is my baby's second birthday! It feels like I've had her forever...

That's What I'm Talkin' About!

Today was another big first for me. Today I was a guest on am 1290 WMCS! Cassandra McShepard hosts an afternoon talk show called "That's What I'm Talkin' About" and today I had the opportunity to share my thoughts with her for about an hour. Too Fun!

How did this come about you ask?

Last week, while Heidi and I were in Milwaukee I made myself a new friend at the casino. After talking for a short while, I mentioned my public speaking and also my book that I am writing. It turns out that she is a producer of this radio talk show. I gave her my card so that we could keep in touch. The next thing I knew, she was calling me about participating in the show! So cool how things work out...

I had a great time, and with any luck I'll get a chance to dish again with Cassandra someday... For now, it was a great life experience!

Ten Years...

It's pretty startling how much a person can experience in a decade. If you had told me on this day in 1997 that in just a few short minutes life as I knew it would disappear I would never have believed you. This past decade has shaped me in ways I can't even express. Some very good things have happened in this time. Some truly horrible things as well.... Nothing on earth prepares a person for the loss of a parent. In a moment everything can change. I often wonder if my Mother would be proud of who I've become. When she last saw me, I was a completely different person. Would she enjoy my personality? Would she be proud of my accomplishments? I like to imagine that she would. However, I'm certain I've let her down now and again. I'm hardened now. Some of my softness has crumbled away. Some wounds have left deep scars. I think the hardest thing about losing a mother is that they are the one person who loves you no matter what. You can't lose a mother's devotion. Even if you try. They love you in spite of your broken bits....

Dear Mom,

I love you bigger than words! I hope the fireworks are beautiful where you are. I look forward to the day when I can hug you again...

Love always,
Mandy

Birthdays!

This week is full of birthdays. Denver, Laur, Kim... All in a neat little row. I love each of these people in such different ways.

I love watching Denver grow into who he's going to be. He's such a bright enthusiastic young man.

I love Laur in a sisterly, "love you just because" kind of way. Time and space doesn't change the fact that she's still shaping my world.

And then there's Kim.... I can't imagine my life without her. She's been my best friend since second grade. She's my refuge when the world gets crazy. She challenges me and builds into me. she loves me unconditionally.

I'm so blessed by all three of these wondrous people. What a week to celebrate!

The Art of Healing...

It's funny to me how one simple act or choice can destroy years of hard earned relationship. Someone you have trusted with your heart for decades can turn against you in a moment. Nothing on earth hurts more than having your emotional security blanket yanked out from under you. These are the things that leave scares for life and in some cases, open wounds that never heal. People heal at different paces I suppose. I know I for one am still fully damaged by the course things have taken over the last few years. So many different forms of loss and hurt... I am less forgiving than some, and more forgiving than others. I'm trying to rebuild wherever possible. I'm not as open as I used to be. I protect my heart in a crusty shell I've built for it. I measure my words. I guard my thoughts. I am slow to love. Even slower to trust. Yet that is my journey. I would never for a moment tell someone else how to feel. It would be as useless as assuming we all grieve in the same way at the same time. How foolish! Who could ever heal like that?

The Continued Blessing...

Two years ago today my sister and I were gifted with a fabulous Disney vacation. Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed or emotionally tapped, I think back to those days. That vacation was the ultimate experience in relaxation and healing for me. To the lovely couple who still wish to remain anonymous, thank you a million times over. I'm not sure I'd be here today if not for you.

Mandy

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAYA!

Best birthday wishes today for the sweetest big girl I know... Kisses and hugs for Maya on her day!

Love,
Aunt Mandy

Happy Mother's Day!

Benjamin Batey Fradin

I have a new nephew! My sweet friends Mike & Becca have a beautiful new son. He's having quite a rough start to his journey, but I'm not worried. Speaking as someone who also had a rough beginning, I can honestly say he's perfect. He's exactly who God made him to be and he couldn't ask for a more remarkable family. Please pray for this little cutie as he tackles some pretty intense health issues.

Thanks!

Wow!

My birthday present from Heidi this year absolutely takes my breath away.... She purchased it over a month ahead of time and has been showing everyone what she bought (everyone but me that is). When it finally came time to open this long awaited gift I was somewhat surprised to find a glass tomato... For so long I had heard that she bought me a gift I had always wanted and that it was going to be soooo special. I was completely dumbfounded when a glass TOMATO was the grand finale. Turns out Heidi was just setting me up. In truth she had bought me the most beautiful diamond earrings and cross. I teared up when I saw it. Was there ever such a sister in all the world before Heidi? I am truly blessed!

27 And Counting...

I am seriously the most spoiled girl I know.

So many people start hating birthday celebrations as they get older, but I have to say it just gets better and better for me each year. I can't help but feel hopeful as my birthday rolls around. It's like my very own marker for fresh starts. Each year I wonder how I will change, who I'm becoming, and where I will go from here. My favorite thing to do on my birthday is surround myself with the people I love the most. The people who make me feel good about me. I'm such a blessed girl. I definitely got the cream of the crop when it comes to friends and loved ones! Many thanks to the people who make me special...


Love, Mandy

Bridgeway...

Today I need to write about my beautiful Big Sister. Heidi, you are a one of a kind lady and I'm thankful I know you. You are strong. You are resourceful, and you are going to be just fine. I love you bunches and I can't wait to see where you go next! Love Always, Manny