This morning was okay... Aunt Karen and Steph both called to tell me they love me and that their thoughts were with me today. I really needed that. There's something about this terrible anniversary that forever ties me to Steph. That was the day we went from "cousins" to "SISTERS". Eleven years ago today, Steph held me together when my world broke apart. I'm only heartbroken to know that this year Steph had to learn the sting of that kind of lose. I wish I could have spared her that...

My Dad stopped by today. That's when today got lots worse. I can say that here because as he says "I don't want to read your blog. Who can stand all that stuff?"

I wish I remembered the me from back then. Something died inside of me then and there's just no getting it back.

Sorry this post isn't all motivational and moving. I just can't manage that today. I miss my Mother. I hate that I know her last moments. It stings to carry that. I can't pretend it doesn't.