The Thing About My Sister....

I've been thinking this week about all the amazing young ladies who have shaped me so far. Steph, Kim, Katie, Jen, Kristin, Laurie, Molly, Marie, Beth, Becca... The list is literally too long to post in it's entirety. As I think of the timeline of my life, I realize that God has placed all of these people in my world for a season in order to teach me something. I'm so very blessed by these people.

Yet the thing about my sister is that she's been there since day one. She never falters in her love for me. She supports me even when she doesn't agree with my choice. She protects me with the instincts of a mama bear. She's my best friend. She's my heart. I can't tell you how pleased I am to call her my Big Sister!

Sometimes The Songs Speak For Us...

AMEN
By: Jewel

You're mothers' child
But night lays you down
Hair aflame, wild look in your eyes
Naked belly to the ground

A forest fire
Nibbles at your veins
Crawls up your arm
Runs away with your mind
And burns dry thoughts like leaves

Amen

Eyes stare up
But something's in the way
In the Bible only angels have wings
And the rest must wait to be saved

A dry tongue
Screams at the sky
But the wind just breathes words in
As a strange bird tries to fly

Amen

Pieces of us die everyday
As though our flesh were hell
Such injustice, as children we are told
That from God we fell

Where are my angels
Where's my golden one
Where's my hope now that my heroes have gone

Some are being beaten
Some are being born

And some can't tell the difference anymore

Amen

Hallelujah
Hallelujah

My Second Family...

My heart hurts this week for the Pelka's... They are like a second family to me, and I don't know what I would do without them. Aunt Karen's Father has passed, and I wish I could take that pain away. Losing a parent is impossible to describe. If you've experienced it yourself, then you know what I mean. If not, you should thank God daily for that blessing.
I wish I could be there for the Pelka's the way they have always been there for me. I wish I could hug them all.

Unnecessary...

All this pain is just so unnecessary. All of it seems utterly senseless. It feels like we're being tested. It's a challenge that asks the question "how much shit can you take before you pop?" I'm so done being the test subject. My whole family is being damaged, and I'm helpless to stop any of it. If I had my way things would be so different...

Wellness would come in a chocolate coated pill. Babies would be given to the most deserving first. Bodies would not be eaten away by illness. We'd all go home in chariots like Elijah. Families would be unbreakable. Love would always win. Fear would be cast out. Death could take a hike, and suicide would not ever be on the list of available options.

It's more than just Laurie that started this chain of events. But her choice certainly added the largest heap to the pile. I used to think that suffering on earth was for seasons at a time. For example: My mother died horribly before my eyes and I thought I would never be well again. My life changed dramatically, but it all turned into good eventually. This stuff that is breaking now does not feel the same. It's like we've entered a place so tragic, we may never fully dig our way out. That's our legacy now. We're that broken family that always holds to our faith.

My faith is not shaken. However, my sense of peace is blown to bits. I have no reassurance that things will ever improve here on earth. I'm just so thankful that one day I get to go home. The task now is to live my life well without adding anymore drama to the lives of the people around me.

Live From Chicago...

Well all, I'm back to work at last. Strange to try fitting back into this old routine. We'll see how long this lasts...

Puppy Love...

In light of how horrible this week has been, I've decided to post something that brings a smile to my face. So here is a fresh picture of me and Diva Starbucks. Aren't we the cutest!?!