Monday, November 28, 2005
The Whole Holiday Season...
I'm not quite feeling it. I so want to be in a holiday place, but I'm not. Thanksgiving was nice. We went to my dad's house and relaxed. It felt really weird not seeing my whole family though. After my Mom died, the term "immediate family" took a shift for me. I've felt as if the family fused into one larger unit. This year that has shifted again. Having no mother means you lose your home base. Thank God for Heidi and the continuity she provides. We had such fun putting up my tree. No injuries this year! =) I'm praying that Christmas spirit takes over. I want to celebrate God's ultimate gift. I want to spend this season, not missing Laurie, but knowing that because of this birth that we honor, I will see her again. Last year, Maya made Polly Pocket sing "Happy Birthday dear Jesus..." I want Christmas to be that simple for me.
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I cannot imagine not having my mom around. She truly is my best friend. I know I will go through that loss one day and I know that it will be one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through.
We put our tree up this weekend. It is a princess tree...with pink bulbs, shimmery bows and star garland. I need to add some blue in it for Connor. hehe
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