Thursday, December 29, 2005

New Year, New beginning...

Speaking only for myself, I am seriously ready for a new year. This year has brought many wonderful things (Disney World, Reece, Diva) but on the whole it's been pure crap. My family has bookeneded this year in heartbreak and tragedy. I'm done. I'm tired of the whole thing.
Laurie once said that people will always fail you, but God never does. I believed that then, and I believe that now. I just wish I had known at the time that it was true of all people. In this year alone, Laurie has done more damage to my major relationships, than all the heartaches of my 25 years combined...
The worst part though, is that the part that went spiraling downhill hasn't quite repaired itself yet. The ripple effect of hurt keeps moving along. I could handle that, if it were not for the pain I see in the eyes of my niece and nephews. Every day we all lose a chunk of our innocence. The sparkle dims a bit and we learn to "handle" one more "thing". My heart burns for my family. I wish I could freeze time and bubble wrap the broken bits.
I can't fix it though. I have no power here. So, instead I'll do the only thing that matters. I will choose to daily consult the Maker of All Things. If He can form the heavens and the earth, surely He can look after one small suburban family. I am praying for small miracles.

I pray that in 2006 He:
settles the heart of the restless
heals the womb of the childless
brings a smile to the face of the children
heals the illness within us
gives us all a renewed sense of security
lifts the burden of grief from our shoulders
brings peace and joy to our world

I'm so tired of running in circles. This New Year I vow to stop. We only get one turn around on this great ride called life. Lets not squander it. Let's all try to remember that every moment is truly a gift!

Happy New Year!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dearest Mandy,
What a gift of words you have. You so eloquently shared the sentiments I can only feel. May God bless you and your family with peace and healing in the new year. May He continue to be the one you cry out to for strength and courage to carry on.
Love
Doodles :)

Barb K said...

Here, here. Or is it Hear, hear?
Either way, I am so onboard with you Mandy girl. Thanks for the great reminder of Our Maker, the One who sees all things and does not let us go.
Love, Aunt Barb

Anonymous said...

Mandy,
I love your prayer for 2006 and I will pray for those things too. God is in control and miracles can be done by Him and as we pray and see His answers may we give Him the glory. There was a song we sang at teen camp that has been going through my head. It was called "Love Song" by Jason Morant. One line said that:
He knows all my thoughts and
sees through my ways and
STILL you come to me,
so I sing a love song to you.
My prayer would be that we continue to go to God with our burdens because He is always there whenever we call upon Him.
Happy New Year. Love, Mrs. Heick

Kim said...

Mandy,
You are such an awesome person! You are so blessed to have such a wonderful way with words. Me, I stumble over what I am trying to say and it never comes out how I want it to. *sigh*

I am looking forward to the new year and all of the blessings that God is going to bring. I am continuing to pray for your family at this hard time you are going through.

And next time you go to Disney, let me know! I would love to meet up with you. :)