If You Want Something Done...Do it YOURSELF Pt. II

Hi again all,

I want to say thank you to all who have supported me in my mission. I'm about half way there. I still need roughly $2,800.00 to make my goal. I'm beginning to feel like this is actually attainable.

If you, or anyone you know might be interested in helping me raise the remaining funds needed to purchase this lift please feel free to contact me.


You can also mail in a contribution:

A. Peszat
4305 W. Shamrock Ln Apt 1G
McHenry, IL 60050

Check/money orders payable to: Amanda Peszat (YMCA Lift Fund)


As always, thanks to everyone for your help and support. I know far more people than just me will benefit from your generosity.

Sincerely,
Amanda

Memorial Day Weekend...

So much stuff I'd like to say. The words are a bit scrambled in my head. I had an absolutely lovely weekend! Thank you to all who made it great.

Friday- I went out with Jessy and Rochelle. It's so fun hanging out with those girls.

Saturday- I celebrated Mike's Graduation from law school. It was a real treat to meet all the Fradin friends & Family.

Sunday- I spent my day cruising around in the big yellow boat. I got sunburned, but I loved watching Diva handle her first boating experience.

Monday- I woke up to Becca's smiling face. I then had the privilege of spending the day with her and Marie.

I wish all people could have life as rich as mine. I'm a truly blessed Fairy Princess!

Deep Breathing...

Today I feel small, and a little broken. I realize that is a far cry from my last post, but there it is.
I discovered today that someone I trusted has betrayed me. A care giver, in charge of my wellbeing has abused the relationship. This is the third time this month that a care giver has taken advantage of my good nature. But, this time is by far the worst.

Who would steal from a Fairy Princess? Did they honestly think I wouldn't know? I wouldn't find out? Was I in fact born yesterday?

I feel like throwing up. I feel like withdrawing from everyone. Seems no one can be trusted and yet I'm stuck relying on people. I so hate needing people sometimes! It leaves you open to taking shots to the head. I wish I could just crawl deep inside myself and hide. Does anyone else ever feel this way or am I all alone?

Flying High

I didn't go to work today. Instead I went to appointments and took care of business. Funny thing though... My dad was off today too. I spent the afternoon on the harley. We went to Lake Geneva. It was so freeing! I love the sense of freedom. Overall, I had a fantastic afternoon. I wish everyone could experience the adreneline rush I felt today...

One Year Ago Today....

At this time last year I was on an airplane. I was seated next to my favorite person, on my way to the greatest vacation on earth!
For those of you who have read my stuff faithfully since the beginning, I know you'll remember the amazing vacation blessing of 05. For you new readers, let me fill you in.
In April of last year a friend of mine approached me out of concern for my wellbeing. He had seen what I had been struggling with since Laurie's death and he worried that I was beginning to devalue my own life. He and his lovely wife had decided that I needed to get away. They sent me on a trip to Disney World, and also the Bahamas (Disney Cruise Line). The only stipulation being, that I not be allowed to name them as benefactors. "Give all the credit to God" they said. I can honestly say that God used these people to pull me out of a really dark place. They probably saved my life.

So today, one year later, I'm reminded of the best time ever!

I'm reminded that someone loved me enough to do that for me. I recall how great it was to spend time with my sister. I felt closer to my mom there. It was better than words can express. I laughed. I rested. I remembered my own value. I wish everyone could experience a blessing like that...

The Five People You Meet In Heaven

Excluding Jesus (that's too obvious), name five people you'd like to meet in heaven. I'm not talking reunions here. I can't wait to see my family and friends who have gone before me, but today we're talking brand new acquaintance's.

My 5:

The Prophet Elijah

Johnny Cash

Walt Disney

Lazarus

Minnie Pearl

Your turn...

I've Said it Before, and I'll Say it AGAIN

Heidi Miller is the best sister any girl could ask for!

I spent a ton of time this weekend thinking about my Mom, and missing simpler days. I wish I could remember what it was like before it changed. I wish for a second I could feel the way I did before all the safety nets dropped out. And then some truly great memories settled over me...

I'm at a picnic with my cousins around the block from my house. We walked there because we could, and we enjoy just being together.

I'm in my Mother's bed on a stormy night. Just us. She lets me borrow her flannel night gown.

I'm in the kitchen with my sister learning to make pancakes. We are laughing so hard at nothing.

I'm in Disney World with Katie. We share secrets in the pool.

I'm on the Harley with my father. He felt close then.

I'm in TN with my Mom. An unplanned vacation.

Finding Nemo in the rain with Heidi. My best day ever!

Isn't it odd how some of your greatest memories have everything to do with the ordinary? I had another experience like that yesterday. My sister fixed my broken bits just by making time for me. I will remember our time spent for the rest of my life. Just like "drive careful" or "PEPPER" have become part of my smile, every time I get the privilege of time with my sister I am altered slightly. Changed for the better I think.

A Prayer for all my "Mothers"

God,

Thank you for these women. Thank you for bringing them to me at different times, in different ways, and at exactly the right moments. Keep them strong. Protect their hearts. Show them each day how valuable they are.

Amen

Happy Mother's Day!

Being a Fairy Princess is a Full Time Job.

Overall there are really only a handful of things I don't like about being a Fairy Princess. It's not that bad once you get the hang of it!



PROs:

I don't have to clean my own house

I've never done laundry

I'm rarely alone

I meet all kinds of people

The parking is FABULOUS

I rarely wait in lines

I don't have to cook

I get the best seats at concerts and plays

I never get tired while walking to work

The wheelchair is ULTRA FABULOUS

It filters out most of the jerks in the dating pool

I'm a living example of human need for community

CONs:

I can't style my hair how I like it

I've never walked on a beach

I'm rarely alone

I'm physically vulnerable a lot

People expect me to be "slow"

My dating pool is more like a puddle

I have to rely on others to make my life work

Stairs are a bitch and they're everywhere

I can never just go and do on my own

I wouldn't change my life even if I could. I know that Fairy Princesshood is not some proof that God forgot me. I've seen over and over how this one minor inconvenience (not walking) has been used for a purpose. It's almost like my whole life teaches people "If I can do all this, what CAN'T you do?" I guess the one thing that really upsets me is people who's limitations are pretty much all of their own making.

I Just Don't "Get It"

I've noticed an odd trend lately, and I find it disheartening. Why do so many "Christians" seem to be snubbing their nose at their own faith?

Don't misunderstand me. I'm the first to point out the flaws in organized religion. In fact I'm pretty sure we break God's heart daily by misrepresentation. But, when did it become trendy to reject all things associated with Him? I've decided that whole "in the world, but not of the world" thing is getting blurred. We criticism everything without any real effort to fix ANYTHING. I for one find it exhausting. Anytime perfection is processed by imperfection it is bound to taint things. That is why Christianity (or any other religion) gets so messed up sometimes. But the truth at the core never changes. So why are we seeing such inner turmoil? Have we become spoiled? I know several people in my age bracket who grew up during the BOOM of Willow Creek. We were in the "mega church" before it was mega. And now there is disconnect. They seem gravitate towards new startup organizations not realizing that one day (sooner than they know) the startup church will out grow it's grass roots and find itself in the same boat as the rest of the mega churches. No one starts a church in hopes of world domination. Despite popular belief... The core heart of "The Church" is driven by loving God and serving His people as a community. Of course "The Church" is not one building, or organization. It's you, and me. We're the "Bride of Christ".
So why all the grumbling? It is not a reflection on God when we see scandal, hatred, injustice, or oppression within the Christian community. That is just humanity failing at living up to our potential. It's like saying "God is hateful" when an abortion clinic is blown up by fanatics. God never commanded that course of action. Yet somehow we hold God responsible for these atrocities. Seems rather unfair... Personally, I think we'd do better to get off of our lazy complacent asses and actually take part in changing the things we don't like. What would that look like I wonder? If everyone saw what was lacking, and stepped in to cause change... I bet that might actually get something done.

Sorry for the rant. I just had to get that off my chest.

So Unsexy

Oh these little rejections how they add up quickly

One small sideways look and I feel so ungood

Somewhere along the way I think I gave you the power to make

Me feel the way I thought only my father could

Oh these little rejections how they seem so real to me

One forgotten birthday I'm all but cooked

How these little abandonments seem to sting so easily

I'm 13 again am I 13 for good?

I can feel so unsexy for someone so beautiful

So unloved for someone so fine

I can feel so boring for someone so interesting

So ignorant for someone of sound mind

Oh these little protections how they fail to serve me

One forgotten phone call and I'm deflated

Oh these little defenses how they fail to comfort me

Your hand pulling away and I'm devastated

When will you stop leaving baby?

When will I stop deserting baby?

When will I start staying with myself?

Oh these little projections how they keep springing from me

I jump my ship as I take it personally

Oh these little rejections how they disappear quickly

The moment I decide not to abandon me

ALANIS MORISSETTE

Dear God,

I know you are there. My faith is not shaken. Yet, I have to be honest with you. Sometimes it feels like you are not close by. You promise never to leave us and for that I'm so thankful. But things are so dark. I am having trouble making out your face in all this. Are you here with me now? Are you watching this happen? Does it break your heart when we fall? I wish I could hear your voice like a clap of thunder instead of a still small voice. I wish I could see you swoop in and fix all that we've messed up. I don't expect answers, or even sympathy. I will simply be still and know that you are God. I will wait patiently for your intervention. I love you Lord. Even when it's painful, I trust you.

Your Loving Daughter,

Amanda Annette