Too much Dust in my head...

Today has been very heavy. This blog has been helpful in processing my thoughts, but these emotions are almost too raw to publish sometimes. I feel pressure to be "Okay now". I know my sunny days will come in time, but is it too much to ask to be allowed time to feel? I need some private time, or time with the rest of my grieving "people". I need to cry without someone hushing me. I need to laugh without guilt. I need the me of right now to just be accepted. No, I'm not my "usual self" lately. I may never be that girl again. Can't people just learn to love this new girl? She may not be as bubbly as before, but she's still real cute!