Two Years...

Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my gastric bypass surgery. It's amazing to look back and see how much my life has changed in that fairly short period of time.

When I was preparing for this procedure, I made a list of things I'd like to accomplish once I'd lost my "excess baggage". The list is comprised of 56 items and I've never shared the complete list with anyone. I had decided that going through with this drastic surgery was for me, and me alone. Some of my goals are very private. However, here I sit, 2 years later and 115 lbs lighter! I've been able to check off so many things on my list... Here are just a few:

I've gotten myself out of bed unassisted. I never believed it was possible.

I've been willing/able to use leg braces again. This has allowed me to stand and stretch and walk (clumsily of course).

I've spent time on boats. That's something I haven't done since I was very young.

I've bought pants in a size 10 (I hadn't done that since I WAS 10!)

Perhaps the most important accomplishment has been swimming... I had not swam in 7 years! My mother's death had left me terrified of being trapped. I almost drowned on that day and water (which was such a freedom and a joy) had since become my worst fear. I was convinced that I'd never swim again. But, as the pounds melted away and I began to feel more mobile, I found myself longing to love it again. Last summer I finally felt ready to try again. I had only swam that one time until last week! Now I can say I've also swam in a beautiful Disney resort, a pool in the middle of a ship, and most miraculously THE OCEAN!

I feel God talking to me today. He's giving me a glimpse of the bigger picture. I remember back to July of 1997. I was experiencing many of the same emotions then as I have gone through in the past 3 months. At that time, things were so dark for me that I couldn't see things ever getting brighter. God has healed me of my fear of water. And He has brought me joy in something I thought would forever horrify me. Praise God for His timing! It didn't happen over night. In fact, it took eight years. Today I have hope that I will heal from Laurie's death. Nothing is ever the same after we lose the people we love, but in time, God mends what is broken.

So, what have I learned in two years? I've learned that losing weight doesn't magically "fix" what's broken. I've learned that being healthy does not mean I need to be anyone else but me. I've learned that scars heal. I've learned that God keeps His promises in my life. I've learned that sometimes you have to go through long periods of darkness, but the sun will shine again.

Today I pray each of you feel renewal and hope!