To my lovely friend, co-worker, and sister-in-law.... Susie Suhr.
Love,
Mandy
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Things That Make Me Go AHHHHHHHHHHH!
1. Ignorance, in all it's forms.
2. People who claim not to believe in God, but are still quick to blame Him for all the negative stuff of life.
3. People who ask about Laurie out of morbid curiosity, instead of concern for my family.
4. Dishonesty. How hard is it to let your yes be yes, and your no be no?
5. Bullies.
6. Cheaters.
7. Criminals.
8. Christians who would rather denounce the title, than try to fix what's broken.
9. People who complain about our world without trying to fix it.
10. People who pity me.
11. Intolerance.
12. Cruelty.
13. Freedom of speech without being able to say the name of Jesus.
14. Political Correctness.
15. Reality TV.
16. The world's lack of sugar free Twinkies.
17. Social Security telling me I'm no longer disabled and I owe $12,000.00.
18. Discrimination.
19. Gas Prices!
20. Long drawn out debates over, judgment, discernment, and proper parenting.
These are the things that currently make me want to scream. Now that I've written them down, perhaps I'll breathe easier. Have a great day everyone!
Mandy
2. People who claim not to believe in God, but are still quick to blame Him for all the negative stuff of life.
3. People who ask about Laurie out of morbid curiosity, instead of concern for my family.
4. Dishonesty. How hard is it to let your yes be yes, and your no be no?
5. Bullies.
6. Cheaters.
7. Criminals.
8. Christians who would rather denounce the title, than try to fix what's broken.
9. People who complain about our world without trying to fix it.
10. People who pity me.
11. Intolerance.
12. Cruelty.
13. Freedom of speech without being able to say the name of Jesus.
14. Political Correctness.
15. Reality TV.
16. The world's lack of sugar free Twinkies.
17. Social Security telling me I'm no longer disabled and I owe $12,000.00.
18. Discrimination.
19. Gas Prices!
20. Long drawn out debates over, judgment, discernment, and proper parenting.
These are the things that currently make me want to scream. Now that I've written them down, perhaps I'll breathe easier. Have a great day everyone!
Mandy
Monday, August 29, 2005
One Lucky Girl!
It's official. I have been blessed with the GREATEST FAMILY EVER! Yesterday, my dream team of worker bees installed my new floor. It's done. In five hours my entire home was given new life. Thank you to Dad, Snow, Jim, Heidi, Steph, Phil, Marie, and Lil Jen. You have no idea how thankful I am that you are in my life. The flooring is excellent! I can't wait to get the trim up and take pictures. I wish I could have helped more, but my contribution of pizza and beer will have to do. =)
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Odds and Ends...
My life is moving at an insane pace. August has slipped past me in a blink. I wish my body could keep up. I think my insides are rebelling against me. I have a kidney infection, and an 8 day headache. I have to visit the doctor and have some tests run. All part of the fun of Princess life I suppose. I'll be ok though. I know so many people who are going through worse.
Two weeks ago I bought laminate flooring for my house. I'm so excited to have it installed! For those of you who have seen my current carpeting, you can imagine my joy. I'll have to take before and after photos for the rest of you.
My new assistant Jackie is fantastic! Except Thursday she broke her ankle and now Moogi (her sister) is filling in. Moogi and I get along great though, and with the exception of a few language barriers, things have gone smoothly. I can't thank God enough for sending me an assistant with a built in backup person!
Last weekend I got to spend time with some of my favorite people. It felt good to be among friends. I also got a compliment on Saturday that may have my head inflated for the next month or so. A very attractive man told me that my smile is "stunning" and that I'm "very beautiful". Talk about good for my ego! I never think of myself as attractive, so it's nice when I'm caught by surprise like that...
This week I began planning my sister's 30th Birthday party. I'm positive I will have more to say on the subject as time draws nearer... For now, I've rented a banquet hall, and made up a guest list. Thank God it's not a surprise party! That means I can let Heidi pick her own decorations. She loves stuff like that... (see her blog about Hobby Lobby). Now, I need to pick out a costume... hmmm... Too many choices. Any suggestions?
Saturday I'm getting together with the Club Girls. I can't wait! It's always a joy when our little band of Ya Ya's gather. It should be a blast!
That's what's new in MandyLand... I hope all is well in your world.
God Bless,
Mandy
Two weeks ago I bought laminate flooring for my house. I'm so excited to have it installed! For those of you who have seen my current carpeting, you can imagine my joy. I'll have to take before and after photos for the rest of you.
My new assistant Jackie is fantastic! Except Thursday she broke her ankle and now Moogi (her sister) is filling in. Moogi and I get along great though, and with the exception of a few language barriers, things have gone smoothly. I can't thank God enough for sending me an assistant with a built in backup person!
Last weekend I got to spend time with some of my favorite people. It felt good to be among friends. I also got a compliment on Saturday that may have my head inflated for the next month or so. A very attractive man told me that my smile is "stunning" and that I'm "very beautiful". Talk about good for my ego! I never think of myself as attractive, so it's nice when I'm caught by surprise like that...
This week I began planning my sister's 30th Birthday party. I'm positive I will have more to say on the subject as time draws nearer... For now, I've rented a banquet hall, and made up a guest list. Thank God it's not a surprise party! That means I can let Heidi pick her own decorations. She loves stuff like that... (see her blog about Hobby Lobby). Now, I need to pick out a costume... hmmm... Too many choices. Any suggestions?
Saturday I'm getting together with the Club Girls. I can't wait! It's always a joy when our little band of Ya Ya's gather. It should be a blast!
That's what's new in MandyLand... I hope all is well in your world.
God Bless,
Mandy
Thursday, August 18, 2005
I Have a Dream...
Last night at church I had a personal break through, or maybe a breakdown, but whatever. The point is that God clearly showed me my purpose for existing last night. At 25, I've got it. And I'm going to change the world!
Our new pastor was speaking about his disabled son last night. I'm sure that the rest of our congregation found it 100% moving and inspirational. In all honesty, I was more like 10% moved, and 90% ill. For the record, before I go on, I really admire our new pastor, and his son is a true inspiration! There were just a few things said that made my skin crawl. It's my blog, I can be honest.
To start things off, he used the term HANDICAP numerous times. I can make exception's for folks who are new to "The Princess Community", but when a man who has lived with a disabled person for 17 years uses that vile term, my hackles go up. For those whom are not in the know, the term originated back in the days when the only job a disabled person could aspire to was to sit on a street corner and HAND OUT THEIR CAP for money. I understand that when people use this term today, they are not deliberately calling someone a beggar, but there it is. The fact that the word still graces street signs, and parking spaces amazes me.
However, that was a mild offense compared to what followed. As the pastor told the story of his son's birth, my heart genuinely went out to him. He was speaking honestly about the fears and struggles he experienced in the early part of his little boy's life. I commend him for his honesty. I can well imagine his fear of the unknown. But then he said that he had to ask himself if he could love his child... Something sick and ugly twisted inside of me. And then it broke free!
I do not blame anyone for feeling these things. We live in a world that praises a myth called perfection. I have news for the world. Every man, and woman on the planet was born flawed. And even the healthiest person in the world is still damaged. In fact, the pastor did eventually come around to this point. In this world, beautiful rising stars, snap and go over the edge (literally). Superman becomes a quadriplegic. This is the truth about the world we live in.
So what's my dream? How do I fit in the "Big Picture"? God is using me. He has equipped me to speak up in the face of this disillusion. I'm here to shine a light on reality. People are broken, but God does His best work with broken! I want to cast a vision for parents with disabled kids ( a support through the journey to the unknown). I want to motivate people to use their gifts. I want to be a part of changing how the world perceives limitations. I want to teach other people to except their limitations, and still strive for greatness! My life is a living example of the Serenity Prayer... But then, shouldn't we all live this out?
Lord,
HELP ME! To accept the things I can not change.
Grant me COURAGE! To change the things I can...
Give me WISDOM! To know the difference.
AMEN
Our new pastor was speaking about his disabled son last night. I'm sure that the rest of our congregation found it 100% moving and inspirational. In all honesty, I was more like 10% moved, and 90% ill. For the record, before I go on, I really admire our new pastor, and his son is a true inspiration! There were just a few things said that made my skin crawl. It's my blog, I can be honest.
To start things off, he used the term HANDICAP numerous times. I can make exception's for folks who are new to "The Princess Community", but when a man who has lived with a disabled person for 17 years uses that vile term, my hackles go up. For those whom are not in the know, the term originated back in the days when the only job a disabled person could aspire to was to sit on a street corner and HAND OUT THEIR CAP for money. I understand that when people use this term today, they are not deliberately calling someone a beggar, but there it is. The fact that the word still graces street signs, and parking spaces amazes me.
However, that was a mild offense compared to what followed. As the pastor told the story of his son's birth, my heart genuinely went out to him. He was speaking honestly about the fears and struggles he experienced in the early part of his little boy's life. I commend him for his honesty. I can well imagine his fear of the unknown. But then he said that he had to ask himself if he could love his child... Something sick and ugly twisted inside of me. And then it broke free!
I do not blame anyone for feeling these things. We live in a world that praises a myth called perfection. I have news for the world. Every man, and woman on the planet was born flawed. And even the healthiest person in the world is still damaged. In fact, the pastor did eventually come around to this point. In this world, beautiful rising stars, snap and go over the edge (literally). Superman becomes a quadriplegic. This is the truth about the world we live in.
So what's my dream? How do I fit in the "Big Picture"? God is using me. He has equipped me to speak up in the face of this disillusion. I'm here to shine a light on reality. People are broken, but God does His best work with broken! I want to cast a vision for parents with disabled kids ( a support through the journey to the unknown). I want to motivate people to use their gifts. I want to be a part of changing how the world perceives limitations. I want to teach other people to except their limitations, and still strive for greatness! My life is a living example of the Serenity Prayer... But then, shouldn't we all live this out?
Lord,
HELP ME! To accept the things I can not change.
Grant me COURAGE! To change the things I can...
Give me WISDOM! To know the difference.
AMEN
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Walking Wounded
It's amazing what we can survive. People hear my story and sometimes say "Oh, I could NEVER handle that!"The amazing thing though, is how presumptuous that kind of statement is. Who can safely say that they won't be in the same place one day?
When my Mom died, I thought the world would stop spinning. The bottom fell out in my life. And yet, here I am. Eight years later, I'm still standing. Ok... Maybe not STANDING, but you get my point. I never thought I'd ever go through anything worse than my Mother's death. In some ways, I was right. I've yet to experience anything as horrible as seeing that with my own eyes... I don't want to go there.
Laurie's death was still much more traumatic in it's own way. Suicide injures people far more than any other kind of death. Maybe because it's their choice to leave. Maybe it's the fact that this pain is forced on you unnessarily. I haven't sorted it all out yet. I may never have it straight. I just know that this wound festers even as it heals. My family is a strong surviving group. We are "RESILIENT" as one friend puts it... But we are still broken, and we continue to move forward as walking wounded survivors.
When my Mom died, I thought the world would stop spinning. The bottom fell out in my life. And yet, here I am. Eight years later, I'm still standing. Ok... Maybe not STANDING, but you get my point. I never thought I'd ever go through anything worse than my Mother's death. In some ways, I was right. I've yet to experience anything as horrible as seeing that with my own eyes... I don't want to go there.
Laurie's death was still much more traumatic in it's own way. Suicide injures people far more than any other kind of death. Maybe because it's their choice to leave. Maybe it's the fact that this pain is forced on you unnessarily. I haven't sorted it all out yet. I may never have it straight. I just know that this wound festers even as it heals. My family is a strong surviving group. We are "RESILIENT" as one friend puts it... But we are still broken, and we continue to move forward as walking wounded survivors.
Friday, August 12, 2005
The Color 9...
Smell the Color 9
Chris Rice
I would take no for an answer
Just to know I heard You speak
And I'm wonderin' why I've never
Seen the signs they claim to see
Are the special revelations
Meant for everbody but me?
Maybe I don't truly know You
Or maybe I just simply believe'
Cause I can sniff, I can see, I can count up pretty high
But these faculties aren't getting me any close to the sky
But my heart of faith keeps poundin' So I know I'm doin' fine
But sometimes finding You
Is just like trying to
Smell the color nine
Now I've never 'felt the presence'
But I know You're always near
And I've never 'heard the calling'
But somehow You've lead me right here
So I'm not looking for burning bushes
Or some divine graffiti to appear
I'm just begging You for some wisdom
And believing You're putting some here
'Cause I can sniff, I can see, I can count up pretty high
But these faculties aren't getting me any close to the sky
But my heart of faith keeps poundin' So I know I'm doin' fine
But sometimes finding You
Is just like trying to
Smell the color nine
Smell the color nine?
But nine's not a color
And even if it were you can't smell a color
That's my point exactly
What is it about Chris Rice? His lyrics speak for my heart. Can anyone else relate to this one?
Chris Rice
I would take no for an answer
Just to know I heard You speak
And I'm wonderin' why I've never
Seen the signs they claim to see
Are the special revelations
Meant for everbody but me?
Maybe I don't truly know You
Or maybe I just simply believe'
Cause I can sniff, I can see, I can count up pretty high
But these faculties aren't getting me any close to the sky
But my heart of faith keeps poundin' So I know I'm doin' fine
But sometimes finding You
Is just like trying to
Smell the color nine
Now I've never 'felt the presence'
But I know You're always near
And I've never 'heard the calling'
But somehow You've lead me right here
So I'm not looking for burning bushes
Or some divine graffiti to appear
I'm just begging You for some wisdom
And believing You're putting some here
'Cause I can sniff, I can see, I can count up pretty high
But these faculties aren't getting me any close to the sky
But my heart of faith keeps poundin' So I know I'm doin' fine
But sometimes finding You
Is just like trying to
Smell the color nine
Smell the color nine?
But nine's not a color
And even if it were you can't smell a color
That's my point exactly
What is it about Chris Rice? His lyrics speak for my heart. Can anyone else relate to this one?
Thursday, August 11, 2005
LGYC
Yesterday I spent the day up at teen camp. I love being up there with family, friends, and 200 young people yearning to know Jesus. I love seeing the campers mixed in with camp staff family members. Toddlers and teens, and everything in between. What a neat place to see God at work...
I have to be honest though, Laurie was haunting me there. Memories of our childhood years up at camp crashed in around me. Images flashed before me as I strolled the campus. Laurie, riding in my lap at age 5. Laurie, playing Frisbee on the grounds. Laurie, worshiping with total abandon in chapel. Ari and I both said we could picture her dancing in the isles last night.
I met some amazing young people Wednesday. Even as I enjoyed their company, there was a part of me praying that they would hold on to what they learned up here. I prayed that they would carry their faith home with them this year. That they would grow deeper in love with God as they mature. I prayed too, that they would allow themselves the freedom to question, and explore the depths of their faith. My mother used to say "Dig deep. Ask the tough questions. If you hit absolute rock bottom, you'll find Jesus." I pray for the courage of all Christians to dive deep, and bravely question their foundation. We do not serve a "Wizard of Oz" God! We will never pull back the curtain and be disillusioned by what we find. So my 10 minutes of prayer today goes up for bravery and boldness in our continuing journey.
I have to be honest though, Laurie was haunting me there. Memories of our childhood years up at camp crashed in around me. Images flashed before me as I strolled the campus. Laurie, riding in my lap at age 5. Laurie, playing Frisbee on the grounds. Laurie, worshiping with total abandon in chapel. Ari and I both said we could picture her dancing in the isles last night.
I met some amazing young people Wednesday. Even as I enjoyed their company, there was a part of me praying that they would hold on to what they learned up here. I prayed that they would carry their faith home with them this year. That they would grow deeper in love with God as they mature. I prayed too, that they would allow themselves the freedom to question, and explore the depths of their faith. My mother used to say "Dig deep. Ask the tough questions. If you hit absolute rock bottom, you'll find Jesus." I pray for the courage of all Christians to dive deep, and bravely question their foundation. We do not serve a "Wizard of Oz" God! We will never pull back the curtain and be disillusioned by what we find. So my 10 minutes of prayer today goes up for bravery and boldness in our continuing journey.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Steph
Has there ever been a better friend than Stephanie Pelka? I've known her since before I can remember, and I'm convinced that God put her in my life with great purpose. She's been my sister, and friend for 23 years. No one on earth makes me laugh harder! No one on earth makes me feel safer when I cry... In life, it's good to have accountability partners. These are the people who love you through your bad choices and lovingly point you back in the right direction. Steph has a capacity for mercy that blows my mind. She can hear the ugliest truths about me and still hug me. She can rant and rage at Laurie for leaving and still refer to her as "our sweet girl". Steph is that one person that you know is unconditional in the way she loves. She exemplifies the love of God. Knowing her has improved my journey...
I'm blessed with extraordinary friends and family. Sometimes I just feel the need to shout their praises!
I'm blessed with extraordinary friends and family. Sometimes I just feel the need to shout their praises!
Friday, August 05, 2005
Velvet Elvis...
I started a new book today by Rob Bell. It blows my mind! Rob Bell is the pastor of Mars Hill Church in Michigan (famous for bringing a live goat on stage with him at Willow Creek). He's an "out-of-the box" thinker and a truly brilliant theologian. If you've never had the privilege of hearing him speak, I highly recommend reading his book. It's all the intellect without any of his usual jittery ADD nature. I love this book! I love seeing someone fired up about the freedom that faith offers. Go get this book. You won't regret it!
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Waiting to Exhale...
I feel like we're all under observation. Kind of like a house arrest or parole of sorts. Thanks to Laurie, we all watch each other more closely. Don't get me wrong. In some ways it's a good thing. We say "I love you" more. We check in with one another more frequently. We make more time fore each other. That part is good. Very good. Yet there is a new fear among us. Now that we have been made painfully aware of how far a loved one can slip, we are easily shaken. It never used to bother me if someone didn't call me right back. "Leave a message at the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as I can"... Ok, fine. Except now I know what it feels like when you never get that call. I panic if I start thinking too long on it. The feeling of not knowing where my loved ones are is highly upsetting. It takes me back to that day. The day I called her voicemail over and over... I had a similar experience twice in recent days and it literally left me drained. I miss the days when I didn't know the worst case scenario. I wish I could go back to a time when if someone didn't call me back, it meant their batteries were low. I also wish we all still had the freedom to disappear for a while. We can't just fade out anymore. Even if we wanted to, there's always the knowledge of how worried someone else will be if I don't connect. It was selfish what Laurie did. She took away our right to minor breakdowns. Thanks to her, it's all or nothing. I pray we all hold up under this new strain...
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Praise God for His Faithfulness!
Friends,
Thank you all for your prayer's and support. God is good to supply all my needs. I have hired a new assistant. She lives in Woodstock (about 15 minutes away). She has experience as a physical assistant, a seamstress, a cook, and a housekeeper. She also has an experienced sister who is available to fill in if need arises. This all comes as a tremendous blessing right now. For those of you who know me at all, you know that Satan targets me hardest during times when my physical needs are not being met. I have prayed about this, and I really thing God is getting ready to bless my socks off! If, I'm wrong, I can always place my add again... =)
I just thought I'd catch everyone up on what's happening on my home front. God Bless and I hope you're having a great day!
Mandy
Thank you all for your prayer's and support. God is good to supply all my needs. I have hired a new assistant. She lives in Woodstock (about 15 minutes away). She has experience as a physical assistant, a seamstress, a cook, and a housekeeper. She also has an experienced sister who is available to fill in if need arises. This all comes as a tremendous blessing right now. For those of you who know me at all, you know that Satan targets me hardest during times when my physical needs are not being met. I have prayed about this, and I really thing God is getting ready to bless my socks off! If, I'm wrong, I can always place my add again... =)
I just thought I'd catch everyone up on what's happening on my home front. God Bless and I hope you're having a great day!
Mandy
Monday, August 01, 2005
An Update.
I'm now seriously looking for a new assistant. I had to fire my assistant Friday. I hate to be the bad guy, but it was necessary. No matter how much I may like someone, I can't keep working with them if they are going to be unreliable. I'm interviewing someone tonight. Please pray for me.
On a positive note: I had the privilege of meeting Debbi Dunlap yesterday. What an amazing lady! I so enjoyed getting to know her.
I also have to say a HUGE thank you to Heidi, and Marie for all their support lately. Thanks to these wonderful people, I've been well cared for in times of great distress. Marie, I can't thank you enough for saving my butt over the last several days! I love you bunches, and I'd be lost without you.
Mandy
On a positive note: I had the privilege of meeting Debbi Dunlap yesterday. What an amazing lady! I so enjoyed getting to know her.
I also have to say a HUGE thank you to Heidi, and Marie for all their support lately. Thanks to these wonderful people, I've been well cared for in times of great distress. Marie, I can't thank you enough for saving my butt over the last several days! I love you bunches, and I'd be lost without you.
Mandy
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