He has once again nourished and revitalized my spirit. This morning my bible opened to Mark 5:36 "...Do not fear, only believe."
God has asked me to trust Him again this morning, and I accept the invitation. What I love about our God is His desire to have a true relationship with every individual. He never angers when I rage at Him. He always holds me when I cry. He knows exactly what I'm feeling, because He hard wired me personally. There is freedom in knowing that He never leaves us. I committed myself to a relationship with Him when I was 13. Even when I have drifted, or rebelled, He has remained close. He patiently waits for my submission to His Spirit. He wants to do good things with my life. His plan is so much better than my own. And even now when my heart feels crushed, He accepts my offering. I offer my self to God again today. Broken and bleeding, I know He can use me. On my desk, I have the words to a great Hymn by Frances Ridley Havergal
Take My Life and Let It Be
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days
Let them flow in ceaseless praise
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love;
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee.
Take my voice and let me sing
Always, only, for my King;
Take my lips and let them be
Filled with messages from Thee.
Take my silver and my gold
Not a mite would I withhold;
Take my intellect and use
Every power as Thou shalt choose.
Take my will and make it Thine
It shall be no longer mine;
Take my heart, it is Thine own,
It shall be Thy royal throne.
Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet it's treasure store;
Take myself, and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.
I seriously need this as a daily reminder.
I apologize if yesterdays blog upset anyone. I can't apologize for what I said though because it was/is true to my feelings. The crazy thing about grief is that you can actually feel a thousand clashing emotions at once. And that's okay. My feelings of gratitude, and brokenness are both very real, and simultaneous. I have so many layers to work through because of this loss... I'm trying. Please bare with me, and please love me through it. The scariest thing I can imagine right now is isolation. It kills you know. I've seen it first hand.
2 comments:
You are so beautiful it hurts. Thanks for that poem, it fits so perfectly. I love you, Miss Amanda!
Katie
Mandy,
I have known you since before you were born and when you arrived I knew you would be amazing. You have a great way with words and expressing the way you feel. Of course you had an amazing mom who I loved dearly. Keep looking for those small things that God is showing you. He puts things and people and circumstances in our paths every day and we just have to be alert enough to see them. We all miss them sometimes when our lives are focused on other things. Your life has encountered pain recently but you continue to push through and I will continue to pray for you. I love you and here is a HUG from me.
Love, Mrs. Heick
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