Wednesday, October 19, 2005

And It Just Gets Better and BETTER!

So, I've entered the seventh circle of hell. Moogi is not staying until November 1st. Her daughter's condition has worsened and she's leaving Saturday. For those of you following this saga, that leaves me TWO DAYS to find an honest, hardworking, trustworthy person. No pressure right? Lets not forget also that I currently have NO ONE to help me on Saturday morning... I've not felt this unprotected since the year after my Mom died. I feel like I'm in the way. The devil whispers that things would be better without me. He tells me that people would be better off without the burden that is me. This scares the shit out of me! I'm fighting hard right now to tell Satan to kiss my ass. I am struggling to hold on to my value, and my contribution.
I am necessary
I am worthy
I will be provided for

I chant it over and over in my head, but the urge to give up is really strong right now. Please pray for me. It's scary to even type these things, but they are honest and today that's the best I can do.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

God is with you, God is strong, God will provide and prevail! DO NOT forget that! I have to remind myself sometimes that He is a "just in time" God...and this is "just in HIS time"

Kim said...

Oh Mandy. How I wish I could hop on a plane and be there for you right now. I am sending a bundle of prayers your way.

You are wonderful.
You are cherished.
You are a blessing.
You are beautiful.
You are loved.

becca said...

I CALL SATURDAY!!! Just give me a call and I'm there.

Here's an email that came to me this week by way of a friend's mom. Thought it would be appropriate now...

15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About:

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want
to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes
from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.