SoulFeast...

This year's women's retreat was a true gift from God. It was restful, and engaging. It also made me look at some things that I stuff down a lot. I took a class on solitude. What is God doing with my quiet moments? I have so few of them, that I think it's hard to say. For some reason, this retreat always surfaces the same four issues in my life.

1. What is God's purpose in making me?
2. My life occasionally burdens other people in order to run properly.
3. Where do I go from here/do I trust Him with the big stuff?
4. Who am I supposed to impact?

It seems like every year brings the same "junk" to the surface. There are times when I HATE needing people! Yet God made me to need physical help... It's an internal battle. I always see the bigger picture where my life is concerned. It's the smaller moments that can crush a girl. I rely on God to work with me and through me. I hear His calling on my life. Sometimes I'm just too chicken shit to make the leap that He demands. It's like when He told his disciples to leave everything and follow Him. I can honestly say I hear God calling me to something that drastic. The fear of the unknown holds me back. What fullness would God have for me if I just put myself in His hands? Margaret Becker said at the retreat that she had always wanted a husband, and 3-4 children. She knew the life she wanted and was struggling against God's timing. Today, she is a single woman, passionately involved in World Vision's child sponsorship program. She has thousands of children that God is entrusting to her! Her life is not as she planned. It's soooooooooo much better! What if the same is true of me? It's mind blowing. It's terrifying...

My favorite part of these retreats is the women I cross paths with. What a treat to share lives, and stories with other women on the journey. I met so many charming wonderful ladies this weekend. I need to highlight three.

To the new friend whom I've known on the surface for years,

Thank you for allowing me to be honest and open. I needed to let some things out, and you created a space for that.

Love, and Doodles

To the strong, independent, woman of God who is on her way to missions work,

Thank you for your kind words. Your support was so appreciated. God will do wonderful things with your life. Please don't ever lose your joy.

Stay in touch

To the Angel of blessing who let me cry in her shoulder,

Thank you for the safe place. Your compassion, and honesty blows me away. You have touched me many times with your talented voice. I'm glad God allowed us to share moments this weekend.

You are in my prayers


That pretty well wraps up my thoughts on this weekend. I pray that everyone can have a weekend like this at least once in their lifetime. I close this with an exercise in reflection.

Be still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I AM

Be still and know

Be still

Be